Why a pro-family program should rise above sexual issues

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SINGAPORE - When SingaNews was launched with a pro-family agenda comprising a couple whose view is to pro-create, a reaction was triggered at two camps harboring polemic views, the pro-heterosexuality lobby threw in their weight of support behind the venture. The opposite camp comprising members from the LGBT community speculated that SingaNews was a ‘missile’ launched with them as a target.

In an earlier article, pertinent points were raised regarding the cohesiveness of the family unit and the crucial need to foster a healthy familial nucleus, which is important for the further development of the family members. Arguably, these aspects are important and cannot be ignored in a venture to promote functional and healthy family relationships spanning more than one generation.

Consider this basic aspect of interaction with older generation family members especially amongst Chinese families – communication using Chinese dialects. It is something that is taken for granted after English was made the main language and Mandarin was promoted and introduced in schools. Yet, Chinese dialects are still the lingua franca among the older generation Chinese Singaporeans. However, the outlook on the use of dialects among the young do not look too promising. The usage of English has increased over the years and there appears to be a greater tendency to switch from Chinese dialects to Mandarin than to English at home amongst Chinese in Singapore at all education levels.

According to SINGSTAT, 16.9% of Chinese Singaporean university students spoke their dialect at home in 2000. In 2005, there was a drop to 7.6%. 14.1% of post-secondary Chinese Singaporean students spoke their dialect at home in 2000, but in 2005, there was a drop to 5.5%.

In light of these statistics, the decreasing tendency among young Singaporeans to communicate in their dialects may not contribute towards the cohesiveness in their relationship with their older generation family members.

Going back to SingaNews, only its management would be able to explain why its focal point is on the “heterosexuality of a couple with a view to procreate”. Heterosexual couples forming their own families is usually taken as a given fact in many societies and cultures, so is there a need to state, overstate and emphasize something that is on the obvious side? It is akin to making a redundant statement or flogging a dead horse whichever way you want to phrase it.

In any case, such a focus excludes a certain group – couples who cannot have children, and hence, are unfortunately unable to procreate. They are not necessarily homosexual couples. They may be heterosexual couples whom are suffering from infertility. And the epidemiology data may not be an encouraging sight per se. Generally, it is estimated that one in seven couples have problems conceiving worldwide. The incidence rates are similar in most countries independent of the level of the country’s development.

The marital trends in Singapore isn’t helping the situation either. According to a June article by The Straits Times, the trend has been that Singaporeans are marrying later over the last 10 years. The median age of first marriage rose from 28.3 to 29.7 years for men, and from 25.7 to 27.1 years for women. It is a well-known fact that the older the woman becomes, the less fertile she becomes.

Thus, if a couple suffering from infertility wishes to start a family, their only way out is to adopt. And some couples who adopt their children may be in need of advice on how to build a cohesive family unit.

Building a cohesive family goes beyond the point of conception. Although this article describes the communication aspect and our previous article broached on the topic of working parents, there are many other issues a typical family will have to face in its bid to become a more cohesive unit. We too mustn’t forget the unfortunate couples who are denied the experience of conception, and acknowledge their unique needs as they strive to build up their own family unit following adoption. These are the reasons why a good pro-family program should obviously rise above sexual issues.